Networking 101 – Add Value!!
Every group contains 2 types of people, “givers” and “takers.”
Givers are always focused on what they can give to help others, to make the world a better place, to grow their business, to have bigger impact, and to add value.
Takers are always focused on what they can take to help themselves, to make their little (I emphasize little) world a better place, to grow their business, and add value to themselves. The irony is that by doing so, they lose value, shrink their business, and lose influence in the world.
Networking can be hell or it can be heaven. It just depends on who you are networking with… “givers” or “takers.”
Take this little allegory as an example:
A man spoke with the Lord
about heaven and hell.
The Lord said to the man,
“Come, I will show you hell.”
They entered a room where a group of
people sat around a huge pot of stew.
Everyone was famished,
desperate and starving.
Each held a spoon that reached the pot,
but each spoon had a handle so much
longer than their own arm that it could not
be used to get the stew into their own mouths.
The suffering was terrible.
“Come, now I will show you heaven,”
the Lord said after a while.
They entered another room, identical to the first –
the pot of stew, the group of people, the same long-handled spoons.
But there everyone was happy and well-nourished.
“I don’t understand,” said the man.
“Why are they happy here when they were miserable
in the other room and everything was the same?”
The Lord smiled.
“Ah, it is simple,” he said. “Here they have learned to feed each other.”- Heaven and Hell, The Real Difference by Ann Landers
If you want to be a great networker, grow your business or life, make more money, reach your dreams, and have a bigger impact than you have to learn to be a giver and network with other givers. Which one are you?
An honest test: 1. Make a list of everything someone or something has done for you. 2. Now, make a list of what you have done for others.
How can you add more value to the world and your clients? Answer that everyday and watch your success explode.
Be a giver!
“Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim…. when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of “nobodiness” then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait.” – Martin Luther King Jr. 1963 – Letter from a Birmingham Jail
Have you ever been around someone who was really, I mean really, able to walk in your shoes? To not just say they understand but really feel what you feel? That is the secret of compassion.
I once heard a friend say that being heard is so close to be loved that most people can’t tell the difference. How well do you listen to those in your life? How well do you feel the pain of your prospects? How good are you at feeling what others feel?
Often when I am working with a team of sales people they want to know how to “Close” better or “sell” better. But, the greatest sales secret in the world is to be a great listener, practice compassion, ask great questions, and walk in your prospects shoes. When you can feel what they feel then you are coneecting emotionally with their issues.
In a sales situation it is tempting to talk a lot and show the prospect how much you know about your product. And think you are closing the sale, you couldn’t be more wrong. Your prospect doesn’t care how much you know about your product, they care how much you understand their problem, pain, or challenge.
You can’t learn about someone’s pain or walk in their shoes by talking. So close your mouth and start listening, or better yet start feeling what they feel.
A good system is to never tell anybody anything (especially about their situation) until you know these 3 things:
- What are they thinking?
- What are they feeling?
- What are they experiencing?
…in this situation. After you have asked enough questions, clarified enough answers, and felt enough of their pain to understand their situation thoroughly should you venture out on the limb and daring to explain that what you offer is a good fit for them.
The decision to buy something is not logical it is an emotional decision that has to be justified logically. It wasn’t until our country truly felt the pain of segregation that people justified changing the culture. Thanks to great speeches that allowed a hate filled and hurt society to see and more importantly feel the pain it was creating.
May we all learn to get outside ourselves long enough to feel what those around us feel. Connecting with each other emotionally is the greatest tool to helping people change there is.
Practice the white magic of listening and see your relationships and profits grow!
Enjoy Life today!
Control Your Goals
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them where they lead.
— Louisa May Alcott
We have aspirations. We all set goals. When we go to the grocery store and set goals on what to buy or how fast we can finish and get home. At work we can rush to be done at 5 pm, and set goals to be home by a certain time. We set goals to be out of Iraq as a country, or who we think should be in a political position. We set goals to live a great life and make big money.
Bottom line is that it is easy to set goals and much harder to achieve them. As a matter of fact, we can set a goal in 3 seconds to make a million dollars, or win the Olympics, or fly to the moon. But setting a goal is not helpful unless we can take action to achieve those goals. Often a goal simply turns into “wishful thinking.” Because, those goals are for the most part out of our hands. Don’t get me wrong, we can dream and work to achieve them, which is very valuable, but whether or not you achieve them is not always directly in your control. But other things are.
For example, a salesperson can set a goal to sell 1 million in product in 6 months. But, the salesperson doesn’t really have control over who buys or how much. Therefore, the goal is a great dream and an excellent target, but not a goal. It is too easy to brush it off later as too high, or out of your hands, or the economy took a dive.
A good goal is always in your control. A good goal is achievable and measurable. Which means the salesperson, although they can’t control who buys and for how much, they can control how many calls they make, how many presentations they make, how much time they spend sharpening their skills and product knowledge, how much networking they do, and how well they remain motivated and prepared. A good goal is something that is in your control, and you treat it as non-negotiable. You view them as something that you can do, and will do each day before quitting time. Never letting yourself out of it by way of excuse or laziness. Because, after all, it is in your control and you either do it and get closer to your success, or you don’t do it and move further away from your dreams.
No action is neutral when it comes to achievement. Every action is either bringing you closer or further away from where you want to be.
Goals are not wishful thinking, like they are so often used. They are much more valuable then that, they are your key to moving forward, out of the Status Quo and into seeing your dreams become reality.
That type of goal leaves you with no choice but to take action. When goals are in your control, they keep you out of the clouds and into moving toward your dreams one achievable and measurable step at a time. Dream big, and then take action to achieve your daily goals.
It is easy to know where you are, sometimes it is easy to know where you want to be. But the real challenge is found between now and then. This is where success happens, in daily achievable activity set to the measurement of a goal.
May you see your highest aspirations in the sun and start walking, or better yet running toward them each day when you wake up. Dreaming is easier done in bed. But reward and success is found up and moving toward the sun.
Reality Vs. Negativity
Carole Doi was born during WWII in one of America’s internment camps for Japanese Americans. She grew up in America and married a man of Japanese descent. They were thrilled when they had a little girl.
At birth, however, the child’s feet were severely twisted so that her toes faced inward. Carole was determined to help her baby grow up to have a normal life, so she decided that the child’s feet would not ever be an issue in her life. They bought her orthopedic shoes, and encouraged her to build up her feet and legs. They even supported her when, at a young age, she wanted to try out ice skating.
The hard work and encouragement paid off. In 1992, these proud parents watched as their daughter, Kristi Yamaguchi—the little girl born with the twisted feet—won the Olympic gold medal for ice skating.– Excerpt from the One Minute Motivator
Staying positive and focused on your dreams can be a daunting and difficult task. You have to have an iron will, thick skin, or be oblivious, right?
I often hear people say I am a realist, I don’t always look at the positive. Well, so are Kristi Yamaguchi’s parents, that really happened. Focusing on the negative doesn’t make you a realist, it simply makes you negativist.
Right now, because of the state of our economy, people are so quick to say why everything is failing. That is simply not reality, everything is not failing, and in every slow economy at least one company in every industry finds a way to rise to the top. The difference is while so many are saying why things don’t work, can’t work, and why it won’t happen (easy to do, there are always a lot of those reasons), there are those succeeding, who are saying why things do work, why they can happen, and how they will make it work.
Will you shape the reality of what happens to you through the negative or through the window of positivism? Both will become reality, one is just more helpful than the other.
Since the time we were kids we are told:
“Don’t bite off more than you can chew”
“Don’t go where you’re not wanted”
“Don’t talk to strangers”
One of the biggest things I deal with when helping professional sales people is call reluctance. And can you think of any 3 worse phrases for a sales person to think then the above listed phrases?
How many sales people start their days by listening to the news or reading the paper about who died, got shot, or robbed, and how bad the economy is? Is it any wonder how easy it can be to be negative?
That is why forming habits of thought that are positive and affirming your strengths, the good you see in the world, and good you see in yourself is on of the most powerful things we can do.
Everyday we can choose the positive or the negative, for the sake of the known world, may we always choose the positive. Then we can find a way we can make it work, look for reasons why it will happen, and then work smart to see it become reality.
Making the sun shine on cloudy days with you-